For days I felt like I wasn’t in my own body, had a funny taste in my mouth and overall felt different. A lady I worked with heard me talking about the taste in my mouth and joked “ hey you could be pregnant” and we laughed and then the subject changed. That night her comment played on my mind so I did a test. Do you know what happened? The test didn’t work! By this point it was too late to go and get another and let's be honest it is hard to make yourself need the toilet so I decided we can just wait until the morning. The morning came around and it was the first thing I did. I sat on my bed with the test upside down and all sorts of feelings went through my mind. What if I am? What would my mum say? What would my partner say? Girls names, boy names, TWINS? It was the longest few minutes of my life, but then I turned it over and my life changed forever.
Pregnancy was hard for me, as being pregnant triggered a medical condition which I never had before, nor will I probably ever have again. When I was 7 weeks pregnant I fainted on the tram going into Manchester, which some people might see as a bad thing. But it was a good thing, as it meant we got to see our little baby earlier than normal. Seeing their heartbeat was the best feeling in the world, knowing they were okay and that they were real was amazing. But it also came with a negative too, as it turns out that pregnancy had put a strain on my heart which resulted in me fainting 4 more times before my little one was born. The chances of this happening are rare, however I am still petrified of trams and won’t step on one ever again!
Other than the fainting, psoriasis and morning sickness, being pregnant was honestly the best feeling in the world. Trying to find outfits to fit your growing stomach, getting used to the stretch marks, it was all so overwhelming but I loved every second of it. Mainly because you know what you get at the end of it!
At 16 weeks we were so desperate to find out the gender of our baby, we booked a private gender scan. Gender reveals weren’t really a thing then, not like they are now, so it was me, my partner and my mum in the room. The sonographer was from New York, which was so weird to us as we found out we were pregnant when we actually came back from New York. (There is another New York reference very soon!) She was amazing, showing us the screen, different positions of the baby and most importantly checking they were okay. When we found out it was a girl we were honestly so happy we cried all the way home, and that was when the shopping could really begin!
Pregnancy flew by, and before we knew it, the pains started. I remember Saturday night being adamant I was going to Housing Units for a coffee table for our new house on Sunday. Nothing, and I mean nothing was stopping me. So when I woke up on Sunday and there was a wet patch on the bed, I was gutted! Still, I was going for this coffee table! We got up, got dressed and went to my partners mums for a breakfast before the big shopping trip. Only then, the pains were getting worse. Minutes apart from the off, and lasting around a minute each. Facing defeat and knowing it was happening, I went home for a bath to try and ease the contractions, whilst my partner ran round like a lunatic getting everything together and called my mum to let her know it was happening!
My mum came round to our house and saw me knelt on the floor, leaning on my birthing ball and screaming in pain. Do you know what my mum did? Made a plate of toast, the biggest plat of toast id ever seen, and thank god she did because I needed energy! A few hours into the contractions coming thick and fast we decided it was time to go to the hospital, I couldn’t take it anymore! At 2pm we went to the hospital where they examined me and said “you’re only 2cm dilated.” They gave me two paracetamol and told me to go home and rest, have another bath and wait for the pain to get worse and the contractions to get closer together. Doing as we were told we went home, I had the best bath of my life, the second one of the day. I went downstairs, rolled around on my birthing ball, had something to eat etc... and tried to relax. But by 7pm, I was in agony! Enough was enough, back to the hospital we went. The examination showed I was 4cm, to which the midwife said “okay let's take you up to the labour ward, you won’t be leaving here now without your baby”
The next few hours were a blur, with the gas and air, pain relief and contractions! At 10cm dilated I was ready to push, and I needed to push as my waters still hadn’t broke! Pushing with everything I could, pop! They burst, everywhere. It was time, this baby was coming! Pushing and pushing but nothing was happening, I ended up being took for an emergency C section. Little Phoebe entered the world at 11:56pm on September 11th (note the other New York reference) by C-Section, and it was the most surreal feeling in the world knowing this little tiny 7lb 6oz human was going to rely on me forever, become my best friend and also be the only child I will have.
Being a mum is the hardest job in the world, but it is also the most rewarding knowing that I am the most important person in her life and the one she depends on when she needs it.